[Bikini Bottom News theme plays as the logo appears]
Perch Perkins: This is Perch Perkins. The anchorman of BBN! We are currently in the air on a helicopter. As you can see. [camera points below] There is current a raid in progess at the Chum Bucket after he stole the Great Krabby Patty Formula!
[At the raid itself]
Policemen 1: [knocking on the door] Plankton! Get out of the building for the 483th time! Also don't use or hold any instruments that can damage!
Plankton: 1. Why won't you get leave? It has be 2 hours of continuous talking. 2. Are you not getting bored for this?
[The policemen sees that some of the policemen are sleeping]
Plankton: Expected. Finally, 3. Why can't you get burst through the doors. It not like you will get in, but I don't get why you’re not even trying a bit to get in!
Policemen 1: Dang! Plankton, we have to have on the budget! We can't afford one more injury and cover their bills! That what the chief said!
Chief: [on the phone] Gosh freaking darn it! David! Just get into the target's building! Time is money! Who cares about the budget! The budget cuts of the police force has been to the point where you don't get your lunches covered!
Policemen David: Shut up! What about what you said an hour ago!
Cheif: DAVID! Did I expla- Fuck it, I quit. [hangs up]
Policemen 2: Yeah! We can't just get more money since the amount of corruption in Bikini Bottom is beyond insane!
Policemen 3: What a surprise. Bikini Bottom since the conclusion of the revolution in the 1990s was a mess for affording. That is why Krabs ruled the economy since the beginning of this mess, 28 years of greed in his pocket.
Policemen 4: Hm. That explains why we are getting paid at minimum wage since 2013.
Policemen 5: To come to think about it, why do we work in this government occupation?
Policemen 3: To feed our families. Also to be a pathetic excuse for a police force for a town with a collapsing government.
Policemen David: Can you just shut up? Oh look the BBN helicopter landing here. Anyways-
Policemen 2: Lets just go right into it!
[The helicopter lands: Missile Disaster plays]
Perch Perkins: Here, they are gotta start the montage of failed attempts to burst into the Chum Bucket! Fred, cue the montage angle.
Fred: On to it.
[The camera points to the doors: The Mob plays]
[First, they try to go through the doors, but it is closed by a wall. Then they start to hit it with their batons, but they get electrocuted. They then try to lift up the metal wall, but struggle to. They then crash a car into the doors, but it does nothing and it explodes. Then they try to get into the Chum Bucket through the roof, but a laser toasts them. They do the same thing, but with a decoy fish, but the laser then finds them climbing to the roof. They then try to break the laser, but it explodes when just take a hold of it. They finally go into the Chum Bucket with the window, but they get lunched out of the building through the doors.]
Perch Perkins: Fred, lets move closer to this embarrassing action!
Fred: On to it!
[As the two walk away from the helicopter, Mr. Krabs with two bags comes onto the helicopter]
Mr. Krabs: With this plan! I'll be getting ten times the sales and ten times the profit! Well, hopefully. Even better, the entire police force is occupied by a crime. Even if the police can't get the formula, Plankton won't be able to get into the formula! Especially with my new hyper-sealed cork and steel glass!
[Quick montage of Plankton trying to break the formula open]
Mr. Krabs: Bag of freshly cooked Krabby Patties. Check. Hm. I hope that SpongeBob isn't going crazy over there.
[SpongeBob is shown at the grill doing the 'unicorn dance']
SpongeBob: The internet is for sure going crazy for this dance!
Mr. Krabs: Ultra Vacuum Cleaner that was 'borrowed.' Checked.
[A guide is shown guiding a small group of people]
Guide: Now here is, proudly, the state-of-the-art, ultra, vacu-. What the?!? Why isn't the vacuum cleaner here? Um... Um... We are going through some technical difficulties here, crowd!
Mr. Krabs: Finally, the key for this helicopter! [looking around] I hope I don't have to pick-lo- Oh! The key is... in the key slot to start up the... helicopter... I feel bad for the level of stupidity the driver of has.
[The helicopter driver is seen eating a sandwich while Perch and Fred are filming all of the fails in the background]
Helicopter Driver: Hm. Where is the key? I get it later.
Mr. Krabs: Time for this plan to soar!
[Mr. Krabs starts up the helicopter and he flies it up into the air]
Fred: What was that?
Perch Perkins: Just keep the focus on the filming. We got to get air time occupied.
Helicopter Driver: Maybe that was our helicopter.
Perch Perkins: Nah. The key shouldn't be on the helicopter. Should it?
Helicopter Driver: Um. Just focus on the imaging.
Perch Perkins: Okay... Yes! Fred, just focus! We can't pull of an investigation!
[As Mr. Krabs is in the air, he starts to throw down Krabby Patties and uses his ultra vacuum cleaner to get money from the people below. They start to complain and even some of them start to throws at him.]
Mr. Krabs: Woah.
[He sucks away cash from a women]
Female Fish: Hey! I am calling the police!
[He calls the police on her smartphone]
Dispatcher: Sorry, but the entire police force is occupied and since crimes must be stopped at the scene, the force doesn't seem to be coming anytime soon. This stupid excuse was made up by the chief.
Female Fish: [throws the phone] Come fucking on! This police force needs some rebuilding!
[Mr. Krabs laughs]
Mr. Krabs: Oh look! It is Patrick. He for sure will fall into this trap!
[Patrick's walking, then Krabby Patties start to drop everywhere]
Patrick: Woah. Wow! What the-. It is true? Has my wish from the well came true?
[Candy then starts to come out of Patrick's pockets]
Patrick: King Neptune! Don't steal my candy that I slot- I mean borrowed!
Mr. Krabs: Where is Patrick's wallet in his pockets?
[Patrick sees that Mr. Krabs is using the vacuum cleaner to get his candy]
Patrick: Grrrr! Give me my candy that I stole from the store!
Mr. Krabs: He won't for sure be able to get up here.
[Krabs sets the vacuum cleaner's strength to max]
Mr. Krabs: Now get me that wallet, vacuum!
Patrick: Get me that candy I didn't pay fo-
[Patrick starts to get lifted up]
Patrick: Woah! Woah! Woah!
Mr. Krabs: No! No! No!
Patrick: Now give me that illegal candy!
[Mr. Krabs turns off the vacuum cleaner]
Mr. Krabs: [sighs in relief] That... that was a crazy situation!
[Mr. Krabs flies the helicopter away]
Mr. Krabs: Now to get to downtown Bik-
[The helicopter shakes]
Mr. Krabs: What? There isn't any strong gu-
[It shakes again]
???: I want- Woah! I want my candy back!
[Mr. Krabs sees that Patrick is holding onto one of the landing skids]
Mr. Krabs: It’s Patrick!
Patrick: I want my unpaid candy!
[Mr. Krabs starts to make very turns to get Patrick off and in the process crazy him into many of Bikini Bottom's building. Patrick then is able to get up to the cabin.]
Mr. Krabs: Oh my! But how?
Patrick: [with a black jacket and deep manly voice] Give me my candy.
Mr. Krabs: Here's some Krabby Patties.
[He throws the bag of Krabby Patties at Patrick]
Mr. Krabs: I hope that got Pa-
[Mr. Krabs hears a sound, it is revealed that Patrick disconneted the main rotors, pretty much disabling control of the helicopter]
Mr. Krabs: Oh hell no.
[The helicopter slices all the upper section of the Chum Bucket, allowing the police to get into the Chum Bucket and get the formula]
Plankton: [pressing a red button while he was holding the formula as the police start to surround him] Come on! Come on! Why isn't my lost resort defense system working!
Karen: It is because the cut also cut many of wire to activate the system.
Plankton: Can you do anything about this?
Karen: To be honest, I'm watching the endings of you, Plankton. [walks away]
Plankton: Shi- [gets hit by a baton]
Policemen David: I got the formula!
Policemen 2: It was a team effort!
Mr. Krabs: [gets the formula from David] Mine. Now who wants to eat lunch at the Krusty Krab.
Karen: SpongeBob Cliché Ending Detected.
Policemen David: After we hit Plankton with batons a few thousand times?
Policemen David: Because that is how the first movie ended!
Policemen 5: That isn't how the fir- Nevermind!
Plankton: Why do the writers have to kill me with these endings?
[Plankton starts to get hit repeatedly by batons]